“My life isn’t lacking - it’s intentional, full, and purposeful.”
Childfree Story: Rachael, 45, UK
“I grew up on a farm, surrounded by animals, learning what it means to nurture and take responsibility. Today, Chewy and Jake, my two Border Terriers, are my family. The love I have for them is constant and grounding.
I’ve always felt a strong pull toward animals, especially babies - but I’ve never felt maternal toward humans. Even though people have told me I’d make a good mum and would “change my mind,” parenting children has never been part of my life. What grew over time was clarity. When asked why I don’t want children, I often reply: “Why would you want children?” It’s not a challenge, just honesty.
This choice also shapes my relationships. I sometimes find it hard to fully relate to women whose lives revolve around motherhood. Most of my closest friends are also childfree, sharing the understanding that a meaningful life doesn’t have to follow a single path.
What I’ve realised is that nurturing isn’t one-size-fits-all. I experience care, love, and responsibility in my own way. My life isn’t lacking - it’s intentional, full, and purposeful.
And for me, that’s more than enough.”
I am happily childfree by choice and also grew up on a farm helping care for the animals and land (and also my younger siblings as the eldest—daughter—). I loved farm life and have slowly worked (with my husband) to get us to a place where we have been able to buy a small farm situation near where I grew up (after living all over). have a sibling who is 10-years-younger so I was asked a lot of questions by her about my decision to not want children. She seemed to understand—that I relish my freedom. No, actually I need my freedom—it comes from a place deep within, much like I imagine some people who desire/need to have children. I asked her, one time, why she wanted to have children. She answered that she didn’t see the point in life if she/they (her husband) didn’t have children. That struck me as very sad. To not feel that one’s life has meaning without reproducing or parenting. It seemed to me, at the time, that her life must have felt hollow and empty. And that is not something I can relate to at all. My life is enriched because it is not consumed by caretaking and raising a human. I love caretaking animals, people who need support, being of service to my community and a steward of the land where I live. It’s so interesting how we can have such different perspectives. I also love my hobbies, which, as it turns out, may seem indulgent on the surface, yet they also (mostly) involve positively interacting with lots of people! I think of my life as my own, and yet also appreciate being able to participate in my community. I know I would not have had the bandwidth to do that if I had become a parent to humans.
Love you work. Always so articulate, clear and helpful!