“It makes me even happier that I don’t have that extra burden children would have meant to me.”

Childfree Story: Tamara, 64, Spain

Photo by Zoë Noble

“When we were kids, my younger sister Marta and I spoke about how many children we would each have when we grew up. But I soon realised that unless having children is your number one priority in life, you should not be pressured by society, friends, your family or your partner to have any. That you have to live your own life and make these life-changing decisions purely based on what you feel.

Both my sister and I ended up with no children. With a shared love of animals, our dream was to open an animal sanctuary and grow old together. Sadly, she was suddenly taken from me by cancer at age 59, so I will be growing older without her. But I’m thankful for sticking to my childfree choice, especially when I saw and still see the sacrifices my parents, now 90 and 88, made throughout their whole lives and still make to raise six of us. My four remaining siblings all have children and I love all my nieces and nephews, but everyone not only acknowledges my choice but thankfully never even asked me to babysit! Big joke we still laugh about in the family.

Now 64, my only regret at 64 was falling for the wrong man and hastily marrying him when I was 41. He took full advantage of my love and stole every penny I had, leaving me bankrupt and losing my home at 51. Biggest mistake of my life from which I have never recovered financially. Making ends meet is an ongoing mental and physical struggle. Having to look for work at my age after 17 surgeries is very taxing. But it makes me even happier that I don’t have and never had that extra burden children would have meant to me.

On the plus side, I am a night owl and love my series, sleeping in, spending my days and nights with my beautiful 14-year old cat Lucy, and just doing what I like to do when I feel like it. I am grateful I followed my path despite pressure in my younger years and I have zero regrets as far as having children is concerned. I have traveled all over the world and my life overall has been amazing!” ⁠